Effective Shopping With Emile Zola

"She was so lost and small inside the monster, inside the machine, and although it was still idle, she was terrified that she would be caught in its motion which was already beginning to make the walls quake..." (49)

Excitingly (for me) I just re-read one of my very favourite books, Ladies' Delight by Emile Zola. Also known as The Ladies' Paradise, or Au Bonheur Des Dames in the original French. The novel is part of Zola's epic 20-novel Rougon-Macquart series, which chronicles the fortunes of various branches of a French family 1850-1870. Enjoyable for stunning passages of description, forensic knowledge of the monstrous power of various sprawling social institutions (the railways, the mining industry, politics, the art world, the department store...), and also plenty of sex, death and scandal.

The Ladies' Paradise is set in the eponymous enormous Parisian department store, run by the confident and brilliant woman-conqueror Octave Mouret. I could go on about why I love this book for many pages. However, having traumatically been caught in town the other day, I thought it would be most useful to apply the wisdom of this book to the phenomenon of January sales.

God, I hate the January sales. See that quote up top? That's how I feel when accidentally caught in the masses of a large clothes store, only I am markedly less reverent. Probably I would feel better if I was in a lavish, palace-like department store in Paris in 1865. Anyway, here are some lessons that Zola can teach us about the way that the stores will try to catch you out. Oh the evil ways of marketing, germinating here in the insidious schemes of Octave Mouret! (It's ok, by the way, Mouret is eventually Brought Low by Love.)

Cheapness is never that cheap when you've been shopping all day:

"Ninety-five centimes, can it be true?...Why, I might as well take two of them, that won't ruin us!" (238)

Nothing is as good as it looks:

"In their square cardboard boxes, the suits, tied up with a ribbon, were folded so as to show only the trimmings, embroidered with blue and red, and across the corner of each box a picture showed the garment already made up, being worn by a young lady looking like a princess" (385)

No normal person ever remembers to return stuff:

"Then, penetrating even further into Woman's heart, he had recently devised "returns", a masterpiece of seduction worthy of the Jesuits. "Take it all the same, Madame: you can return the article to us if you find you don't like it." And the woman who was resisting would find in that a final excuse, a possibility of going back on an act of folly: her conscience satisfied, she would buy it." (230)

A shuffling of departments into a confusing and illogical order makes you buy more:

"Here, Bourdoncle, listen to what'll happen...Firstly, this continual coming and going of customers scatters them all over the place, multiplies them and makes them lose their heads; secondly, as they have to be conducted from one end of the shop to the other - for example if they want a lining after having bought a dress - these journeys in every direction triple for them the size of the shop; thirdly, they are forced to go through departments where they wouldn't have set foot, temptations there catch them as they pass and they succumb..." (232)

Beware advertising:

"the sixty thousand francs spent on announcements in the newspapers, the ten thousand posters on walls and the two hundred thousand catalogues which had been circulated had emptied the women's pockets and left their nerves suffering from the shock of such intoxication..." (261)

Do not be seduced by flashy displays:

"There, in the diffused light, stood a bright and gaily coloured display making a delightful effect. The counters, symmetrically placed, looked like flower beds, transforming the hall into a formal garden, beaming with a range of soft flower tones." (238)

In the presence of a gorgeous range of garments in a full stunning rainbow of colours, you buy the item, but really you are buying the rainbow. As the memory of the colourful feast for the eyes you saw in the shop fades, all you are left with is a rather ordinary blue shirt. This is why I spend so much money in American Apparel. (Although AA clothes really are nice.)

Emile Zola, Ladies' Delight, trans. April Fitzlyon 1957, Oneworld Classics 2008

P.S. Speaking of being taken in by commercialism, advertising, packaging etc., how nice is the edition above which I bought for myself in the course of seasonal spending? It was a gorgeous paperback, I couldn't help but buy it even though it's my second copy of the book. Also I wonder where the cover photo was taken?

Anatomy of an Xmas Present

Just thought I'd share a little of my "Creative Process", which in this case is put to use to make my Dad a Christmas drawing. I know the subject matter seems odd, but my Pops is a man interested in just about everything historical geographical and mineral (and possibly everything else besides, he has a true museum curator character) including postboxes. The subject here was a particularly fancy example near Norwich city hall; my Dad would of course be able to tell you the type and date and sundry other historical details. What a weirdo.

Step One: A first sketch using one of my favourite Derwent drawing pencils. I think this one is Ruby Earth? A very pretty colour, IMO.

Step Two: Whack on some red watercolour.

Step Three: A bit of shading with the red.

Step Four: Black for the letter slot and the base, and a bit more shading.

Step Five: Stick it in a simple clipframe, and Bob's Your Uncle and one's father is pleased!

I don't think I am particularly great at watercolour (or art, or life, argh), I don't have a very light touch and I've never really done enough to get the hang of it, but this was a simple subject and Papa seems satisfied, so I think that's Ok.

Tell you what I do like, though: Watercolour Challenge. What a show. Is it still on the telly, does anyone know?

Next week we will cover clouds, brushstroke width, and lampposts.

Winter Wonderland etc

No snow here this Christmas, but plenty at good old Reed College, which nestles cosily in Portland, Oregon. Alas and alack, I wish I was there to see the liberal sprinkling of the wintry white stuff this winter of 2008, although as it seems that the entire Pacific Northwest was epically snowed under such that transportation (air and land) was virtually impossible, maybe it's okay that I gave the snow a miss this year.

These pictures are a seasonal offering of a snowy playground at Reed from a couple of years back when I was lucky enough to spend a winter there. All the photos people have put up on Facebook of this year's Reed snow made me sad, even though I'm happy to be in the UK instead (and not snowed under, as mentioned previously), so I thought I'd put up these older ones as an antidote. And a nominal effort at an Xmas post.

Assignment #63

"Absolutely, Yes", Hollie Victoria Robson, London, UK

I found these on the website Learning To Love You More, set up by Miranda July and a fancy artist friend. The thesis behind the project is that they come up with assignments for people to do, and then those people send in their responses via the internets. Then they put them up on the website for your perusal, although they have also made a book. Here are a few past assignments:

Assignment #9: Draw a constellation from someone's freckles
Assignment #15: Hang a windchime on a tree in a parking lot
Assignment #34: Make a protest sign and Protest
Assignment #45: Reread your favourite book from fifth grade
Assignment #50: Take a flash photo under your bed

These are my faves from Assignment #63: Make an Encouraging Banner.

I am not one for inspirational slogans about chasing your dreams, you can achieve anything, we are all beautiful and unique snowflakes, etc. But these are lovely, because random people have made them in their houses for the purpose of encouraging strangers on the internet. Plus, they are just so cute.

"Get Awesome", Gabrielle Passaro

"Nothing is Going to Explode", Ashley Valverde

"It Will Get Warmer Again", Melissa Stricklan, Logan Utah, USA

"When It Doubt Add More Glitter", Jo, Long Beach California, USA

"Everyone Loves You", Gabrielle Passaro

"You Are Better Than You Think", Elisabeth, Auckland, New Zealand

"Good and Fine and True", Wheat Wurtzburger, New York, USA

Instructions

Some zine-related information for y'all, because people keep asking:

The submissions floodgates are open for Enthusiasm!

BUT we have a nice wodge of submissions for Issue #3, so your fantabulous pieces will more than likely appear in Issue#4.

Issue #3 will appear some time this month, a Christmas present to the zine world, and Issue#4 will be a January/February kind of deal.

Bring forth your amazing and creative submissions, party people!!

Just because I thought I was obliged to put a picture in. Flughafen the bear is getting his head squished next to a piece of my foundation year 'artwork', oh dear.

Cities and Eyes

An American friend of mine is visiting Berlin over the winter break, which made me think of my own visit to Berlin, many years ago, back in the mists of time... Ah! What times I had in Berlin. What a vibrant, decadent, bustling city in which a young cove like me could get up to all sorts of drunken mischief. Except not. I went to Berlin a year or two before sixth form, and I went with my parents, which seriously cramped my style. Oh, being a skint only child who is not yet in a position to go away to foreign climes without one's parents! Oh, the perils of having an incredibly history-enthusiastic museum curator for a father! We went to 12 museums in ten days. I don't want to talk about it.

Having said that, Berlin was wonderful. The look of the city really appealed to me. I also got the impression that a lot of fun was to be had if one managed to avoid being fifteen, crap at German and dragged around museums by one's parents (actually, I was crazy for the Bauhaus museum). I had such a good time taking photos, a few of which appear here.

Learning Through Musicals

Saw this on Funny or Die, home of the occasional star-studded gem of silliness. It's a fantastic example of musical satire speaking truth. Behold! Prop 8: The Musical...

Humour Us...

Ok guys, I want you to bear with us here, and please weigh in on a rather stupid issue that is bugging us to an incredible extent. We've been arguing about it for half an hour now. Voices have been raised. Sanity has been questioned. Tim has started claiming that certain people are colour blind. I've been saying "IT'S RED. IT'S RED. IT'S RED." over and over again, while rocking in my chair and staring, wild eyed, at the computer screen. Kaia is literally jumping up and down with rage, saying "It is brown! It is the colour of poo!"

Here's the question: What colour are the Stumptown mugs?

Please, for the sake of our sanity, vote in the poll on the sidebar to the right. Please. Kaia has threatened to make me sleep on the couch. In my own house.

What's That Behind You?

So my BFF Tim is in the early stages of starting a new band, something in the hardcore noise range, and they're trying to think of a name. I have been lobbying for about a month now for them to call themselves Backphat. Is that the best name ever or what? Fun to say, slightly distasteful in a groovy way, and clearly displays its cool points through the use of the trendy street slang word "phat".

Just when I thought Tim might give in and saddle his fledgling musical combo with the name Backphat, it turns out that there's already a band in Japan called Backphat! Can you fricking believe that?! There really are no new ideas in the world. I am disheartened.

Juxtaposing Your Week

Include Me Out

Been looking at this blog, Seven Days, for a bit; it's the home page for the work of illustrator Cristiana Couceiro. Couceiro lives, works and is inspired by Lisbon, Portugal. Obviously she is a fan of vintage photographs too, with hopeful images of the past yanked out of context and into collages yielding a suggestion of the past and of meaningful symbols, but essentially just modern enough to not denote anything in particular. The pieces also look a lot like a particular strain of old Penguin paperback covers, do you know the ones I mean? The ones that look like these, basically (especially the one below, labelled It's Not For You to Choose). Same colour palette and use of pale coloured circles, sometimes the font is the same too. Hence an added expectation that the text and the symbols in these pieces will mean something, but still they have only the feel of old pieces of functional graphic design; time and nostalgia turns it all neatly into art.

It's Not For You to Choose

These pieces do continue to make me feel like I'm missing something. Maybe I am? I don't know much about the artist. Maybe these are books covers, I just don't know the books. (Also Couceiro does some conventional illustration, magazines and advertising etc.) The titles seem designed to be confusing too; unless there's another connection I'm missing the titles seem entirely divorced from the content. I also wonder what percentage of the images here are found, and how much made new? Some of the photographs do seem newly posed, modern models in old fashioned dress. It's all really working for me, anyhow. Collage is fun. I would love to see her sketchbooks/scrapbooks.

You've Hit the Button One Hundred Times Before

You Are Everything I Cannot See

Who Can Doubt it Now

When Your Feet Are Living the Ground

Feeling Like a Tape Recorder

To Stay Here Would Be Just Fine

I Find it Hard to Explain How I Got Here

I think I got the Couceiro tip from This Girl Called Automatic Win. Lass has good taste in art (and links, and recaps, and long hilarious soul-searching sessions).

T&S is Luv

Tegan, Sara, Amanda Palmer, Amy Cook

My goodness, how hot do Tegan and Sara look in this photo? Plus two other musicians who I don't know who they are but they're pretty attractive too. Notice also the incredibly smart also hot political broadcaster Rachel Maddow, below.

Out magazine published these two photos in their "Out100" list of the famous gay folks of 2008. Check out the rest here. Actually the whole list and accompanying issue kinda SUCKED. The entire 100 strong list had like 20 women, no kidding. Said women were usually photographed as arm candy to the latest waifish handbag designer or avant-garde artist dude. In fact, these two here were the only hot photos of women I had heard of in the whole list. It gets worse! The cover of said issue featured Gus Van Sant, Cheyenne Jackson, Sam Sparro and Katy Perry! I'm not going to have a huge rant about annoying idiot Katy Perry, but suffice it to say, I do not think that 'I Kissed a Girl' was a huge step forward for gaykind. Could they not have found one actually gay lady to put on the cover, let alone one who irritates the fuck out of me with her stupid song?

Oh, gay men. I know that you think lesbians wear too much plaid and can't dance, and we think you play 'It's Raining Men' too often, but really, you could have shared your Out100.


If only I could have shown you a cute photo without having a rant. Bah.

Chainring Heart

This is what I just ordered from Microcosm Publishing:

Papercutter #7, Bad Lyrics Project, Biff #3, Big Hands #3, Buzz #2, Coffeeshop Crushes #1, Cramhole #2, Dreamwhip #13, Flying Lesson #10, Green Zine #14, Indestructible book, Journalsong #6, Kerbloom #66, La-La Theory! #2, The: A Fancy Word For Widow, Likes / Dislikes zine, Listy #3, Papercutter #6, Post is the Most #2, Really Gay!, Snakepit #16, Sourpuss #2, YOU. zine, When You Can't Stand Yourself, Go Outside, Sounds of Your Name 1.0 (free copy), Patch #127: Slingshot Woman, Patch #058: Chainring Heart, Patch #084: I Heart Tofu, Patch #088: I Read Zines, Patch #102: Fix Shit Up, Patch #116: Record Playerz, Patch #137: Camera, Patch #120: The Pedal Power Don't Stop, Patch #119: You Can't Hug with Nuclear Arms, Patch #014: Feminist Fist, Patch #187: $0 per gallon, Patch #130: Sweetheart Chainring, Patch #029: Peace Dove, Patch #149: I Heart Vibrators.

That's 38 items, people! Someone please stop me before my zine obsession gets out of hand!!

To be fair, this was partly a group order, with the patches and everything. Plus most of these items were one or two dollars, and the most expensive was four dollars. We had to get Microcosm to send the zine and patch package to an intermediary in the states, because they don't mail overseas. What a hassle. But so worth it.

Microcosm are a zine distro and small-press publisher based in Portland OR and Bloomington IN. If you've heard of a zine, they stock it. (And if you don't know what a zine is, here's a handy definition Lucy found: "a small, handmade amateur publication done purely out of passion, rarely making a profit or breaking even." Sounds about right.) Microcosm also do tshirts, badges, patches, stickers and posters. The vibe is very bike hipsterish, pro-veganism, anarchism, feminism, DIY, that kind of thing; I'm pretty sure they make no money whatsoever. Microcosm have also apparently just opened a store in Portland; wish I could go visit it. Check out the super-cute logo also:


I am so excited about the ziney package of joy that is heading my way! It's going to be amazing!

American Elf

James Kochalka has been on my radar for a while, but I was never the hugest fan, I must admit. He's written and illustrated about a million comicbooks, including American Elf, Monkey Vs. Robot, Peanutbutter and Jeremy (a child-like story about a cat and a crow, which I actually rather like), and Superfuckers. He also has a band called James Kochalka Superstar. Are they any good? I have never heard any of their stuff, but their CDs are occasionally attached to the comicbooks.

However, I've just discovered his daily diary comics, and I LOVE them. He writes about his cats, his wife, his two small sons, and various emo and weird and goofy things that fall into the Kochalka universe. The colour work is amazing, as is the super-cute depiction of his kids. Top-notch cat work as always. By the way, Kochalka himself is the bucktoothed elf, and he absolutely looks like that in real life too!

There's something about diary comics that really appeals to me. I admire the full-on dedication of that kind of project, and the slow progression and development of the artwork that follows. But more than that I respond to the accumulation of small details about how an artist spends their days, what they think about, how they draw themselves and the world around them. It's quite moving, really.





Check out more diary comics at americanelf.com. He's been writing them for TEN YEARS. So there's plenty of good stuff to catch up on.


Above, some earlier strips, ten years old now. See how his style and his elf-face have changed!