"Hey girl," (this only works for girls) "you remember that Charlie's Angels movie?" (Either the 2000 movie or the 2003 sequel, 'Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle.) "Who was your favourite Charlie's Angel?"
If they answer Cameron Diaz, then they are probably straight, if they say Lucy Liu they are bisexual, and if they answer Drew Barrymore they are a massive lesbian!
Ha ha ha ha ha! We are having the best time! Wetsuits and Cameron Diaz's sideboob are so funny!There we go, that is the theory. Like I said, we came up with this theory ages ago, especially since Charlie's Angels is now 11 years old (!!). I totally swear by it though, especially since Drew Barrymore is my favourite, and I am a big old lez.
Anyway, I was in the pub the other day with some fellows, and for some reason The Charlie's Angels Theory came up. Then, because I was a bit squiffy, it seemed like a good idea to spam everyone in my phone book with The Question, in order to test out The Theory. I am sorry to say that many of my friends are too young to be into that movie, which made me feel old. Still, I got some results, which I will now share with you. Does anyone know how to make pie charts on this Blogger thing?
WTF? Does anyone remember this scene from the movies? You know, I am not exactly in the CIA, but I'm pretty sure this is not what spy business looks like.TEST SUBJECT 1
Lady one is straight, but chose Lucy Liu as her favourite. However, she hangs out with lesbians all day long and this may have rubbed off on her. So I will call this:
RESULT: Inconclusive.
TEST SUBJECT 2
Gal 2 is straight, but likes Lucy Liu.
RESULT: Does not support the theory.
TEST SUBJECT 3
Lady 3 is also straight, and likes Drew Barrymore.
RESULT: Does not support the theory.
TEST SUBJECT 4
Woman 4, likes girls, says she cannot remember the characters (making me feel old) but would pick Drew.
RESULT: Confirms theory!
TEST SUBJECT 5
Woman 5 dates men, yet picks Drew Barrymore - "duh!!!"
RESULT: Does not support the theory.
HOWEVER: Subject later says that she is having a gay kind of a day, thus rendering her result INCONCLUSIVE.
TEST SUBJECT 6
Girl 6 is a gaymo, and asserts: "I'd do all of them, but I'd hang out with Drew the most."
RESULT: Confirms theory.
TEST SUBJECT 7
Lady 7 is bi-ish, and picks Lucy Liu.
RESULT: Confirmation of theory.
TEST SUBJECT 8
Girl 8 is bisexual, yet picks Drew Barrymore.
RESULT: Does not support theory.
TEST SUBJECT 9
Woman 9 is a massive homo, yet picks Lucy Liu.
RESULT: Does not support the theory.
TEST SUBJECT 10
Woman 10 is bi-ish, yet picks Drew, followed by Lucy.
RESULT: Inconclusive?
TEST SUBJECT 11
Girl 11 is homosexual, says it is between Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu. Further comments: "I have a huge crush on Drew and Lucy is just super attractive."
RESULT: Supports theory? "Huge crush" seems to indicate that Drew has the edge.
TEST SUBJECT 12
Lass 12 is bisexual, and likes Lucy Liu the best.
RESULT: Supports the theory.
TEST SUBJECT 13
Woman 13 is myself. I am not sure if it is ethical to include oneself in a sociological study, but I was at the pub during the period of the study so it counts. As previously mentioned, I like Drew Barrymore the best.
RESULT: Supports theory.
Kinky. This is what every lady's ideal Saturday night looks like. Except not in a field, and Cameron Diaz has to go out for snacks instead of joining in.OVERALL RESULTS:
By my count, that makes:
6 results that SUPPORT THE THEORY.
4 results that DO NOT SUPPORT THE THEORY.
3 results that I have deemed INCONCLUSIVE.
SUPPLEMENTAL RESULTS:
8 ladies preferred DREW BARRYMORE.
5 ladies preferred LUCY LIU.
OVERALL CONCLUSION:
The theory is PROVEN. I am ALWAYS RIGHT.
NOBODY likes CAMERON DIAZ. Sorry, Cameron Diaz.
BONUS STUDY!!!
On the same occasion at the pub, I decided to test out another theory that I have:
THEORY: Maker's Mark is the whisky of choice for lesbians.
I drink it all the time, so I think this must be true. Once again I texted a selection of people in my phone book, this time self-identified homos only. I received a smaller number of results, but I think it still counts.
Some lesbians doing something weird to some Maker's Mark.RESULTS:
4 out of 4 lesbians prefer Maker's Mark.
One lady added: "FOSHO. THAT IS A TRUTH FACT". Her emphatic response counts double, in my opinion.
Please communicate your own Charlie's Angels/ Maker's Mark preference to me if you wish, and I will add your response to the results, thus enriching my highly scientific study. Thank you.
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